My New Job

When I walked into the (secured) lobby, I saw my name on this stand, sitting right next to the place where you swipe your card.  I said to the security guards, "Hey!  That's me!"  I was pretty astounded.  They went along with me and pretended to be happy for me (I'm sure they see this all the time).

So...Monday, November 22, 2010 was the start of my new job as Admin/Office Coordinator in the Pharmacy Services division at SelectHealth in Murray, UT.
What a great place!
Of course, I've only worked there for three days (then I had a Thanksgiving holiday), but the first three days were superb.
I've got my own cubby (cubicle), so I'm trying to envision how I will decorate it (tee*hee).
I don't have a computer set-up yet, but I'm using an old laptop; one I will be using to take meeting minutes.  And there are many, many meetings, I've found out.  I do have a phone hooked up.  I haven't completed the training on the phone yet.  Yes, training on how to use the phone.... (it's complicated...)
From what I can gather...SelectHealth is a health insurance company--and it's rated in the Top 5 Places to Work in Utah, voted on by the employees, who, I have gathered, rave about the place--and I work in the Pharmacy division.  It involves a lot of jargon about drugs and drug companies.  I am the admin for the Chief of Pharmacy and the pharmacists and the customer service call center people.  I believe the pharmacy division discusses drugs and puts them in the tiers according to the expense.  The call center people take calls from pharmacists and doctors and customers and answer questions, etc. 
I may be wrong.  I've only been to one staff meeting and some of the lingo went over my head, and, of course, there are lots and lots of acronyms I have not learned the meanings for.
I don't want to talk about it too much because, well, you're not supposed to blog about your job or workplace. 
BUT...I LOVE it!  They seem to be breaking me in easy, which I am thankful for, but next week may prove to be ramped up a bit.  I don't know.
My boss is really nice.  The pharmacists I work with are really nice.  All the others are really nice.
Hey, it's Utah.  EVERYBODY here is really nice!

I hope this was OK to talk about on a blog.  It's all good, right? I don't have anything negative to say.  I am blessed!

I GOT A JOB!

I was beginning to panic.  I had been here in Utah for two months and still no job.  I received one offer, but it was too little money and too little hours.
I logged 56 on-line applications and I went on 11 job interviews.  Sometimes I did two interviews in one day!  Then...nothing.  I had no interviews on my calendar for this week.
I picked Sandy up from the airport on Monday and on the way back to Herriman we passed South Jordan.  I said to him, "That is where I want to work.  That is where I want to live."  On the way my phone rang, but because I was driving I didn't answer it.
Sandy said, "You should answer it.  It might be a job!"
No, not while I'm driving.
So, when I got home, I listened to the voice mail and it was Merit Medical in South Jordan asking if I'd be interested in a 2-week temp job.  I said, "Yes!" 
Isn't that funny that I just said I wanted to work in South Jordan?
Anyway...
I went over that afternoon, signed some papers and went for a drug test.
AND, the recruiter there said she was sending my application/resume' to HR in case there was a job for me as an admin.  Hmmm....good deal!
The next day, Tuesday, I was temping at Merit Medical.  I was helping out during the busy open enrollment time.  Their health insurance was with SelectHealth.  I thought, "Hey!  I was interviewed for a job at SelectHealth. How ironic!"
The next afternoon, Wednesday, I received a call from SelectHealth. (!!!)  I had interviewed for a job as office coordinator for the pharmacy division.  They wanted to offer me the job!  They checked my references and they were glowing and they offered me more money than previously was offered!
Whoa!
I was flabbergasted.  I asked if I could think about it because I had 2 other companies I was waiting on.  She said I had 40 hours.  She also sang the praises of SelectHealth to me; the perks, the promotionals, the pension, etc.
SO...
I came home to Meyersons and told them.  They were excited for me.  Mike said SelectHealth was one of the top companies in Utah to work for.  I told him the recruiter said they were one of the top 10 companies in Utah to work for.  The employees voted, so it must be good, right?
I told them I had been praying all day and prayed in my room on my knees and I just didn't get any confirmation!?  Normally, I get confirmations.  I got nothing.
The next day, Thursday, I got a call from CHG, another company I interviewed for. They wanted me to come in for a second interview.  I told them I received an offer and was there any information they could give me about my chances at CHG.  I didn't really want to work there, but I thought, what the heck?
I was told they didn't even do all the first interviews.  I politely declined the second interview.  That place would have been too stressful to work for anyway.
That evening, I received a Dear John (rejection) email from another place I interviewed for.  I also emailed the other company I wanted to work for--Utah College of Massage Therapy.  I thought it would be kinda fun to work there. But it was in SLC, and I really didn't want to work in SLC.  But I asked them what my chances were to be hired because I received another job offer.
On Friday, there was a person at Merit from SelectHealth who was there to help out with questions at the class everyone had to take about the insurance.  I spoke with her and she also sang the praises of working at SelectHealth.  She said it was very family friendly and that the people were very nice.  She said she knew the person who would be my boss and said he was a nice man.  She said she left S.H., for a few minutes, then went right back to them.  She said she was going to stay with S.H. until she retired.  It is a great company.
I still felt like I didn't get a confirmation, though.
Stupid me.
I go to do a job and SelectHealth is all over all the information I'm passing out to the people.  Then they call and offer me even more money than before.  Then the other jobs don't pan out.  Then I talk to someone from the company who loves working there.
The clincher?  Benefits from S.H. would kick in on January 1, the same day my benefits with my current company will end.
All of a sudden it hit me.  I've been receiving confirmations the whole time!  How many confirmations do I need? 
I was expecting visions and other-worldly revelations, when I got simple face-to-face and hands-on ratification.  How many reasons do I need to accept that offer?  Come.on!
So I called the recruiter at InterMountainHealthcare, and accepted the offer.  She even understood that I had a 2-week commitment with Merit Medical and allowed me to honor that.
I start November 22nd.
Another step accomplished in my new life.
Scary!

SelectHealth photo for my badge

Crocheting is my OCD

I cannot watch TV without crocheting.  I guess I think it's just a waste of good time that can be spent by using my hands.  I love it when someone sends me a picture of their child in one of my crocheted creations.  That's little David Schlesser modeling his giraffe hat.  I can't believe Kristen actually had a giraffe outfit for him to wear.  How cute!

I love to make the cocoons.  It's the newest thing now.  I have one pattern, but I was able to figure out how to make other types.

The first one I tried was Three Peas in a Pod.  From there I just kept thinking up new designs.

And Beth Hoff dressed her son, Sullivan, in the Three Peas in a Pod cocoon I crocheted for him.  She was gracious enough to take a picture.  How cute!

 
It's wonderful to see photos such as this one of Ella Jackson wrapped in the pink afghan I made for her before she was born.  I'd love to have a shot of her in the pumpkin hat I just sent her.  I keep forgetting to ask the mothers if they would take a picture.


The cocoon thing is just too cute.  I have only given them away to Abington Hospital NICU, but I need to find another outlet for my crochet addiction.  I'm thinking Primary Children's Hospital.

Maybe they would like a lamb...or two?

...or three?

This cute guy ended up in a craft contest

for Jo-Ann Fabrics.  Wouldn't it be great if I would win?

The prize is a $1,500 gift card to Jo-Ann Fabrics.  That would last me about....six weeks?  haha!  If I win, a $50,000 prize will be given to my charity of choice, which, out of the list I was given, a Preemie charity (can't remember the name) out of NY best fit with my craft.  Wouldn't that be wonderful for them?

Well...on to more yarn...and more yarn...and more yarn...

I Will Never Tire of the Mountains

 I have been working a temp job for Merit Medical in South Jordan, UT and, I lucked out, in that it's only a 10 minute drive from Sandy, where I'm staying right now.  So, today, I stopped in at the local Home Depot to buy an electric heater and, as I walked out into the parking lot, I just had to pause.  Look at the scene from the parking lot.  Can one not pause?


The recent snow on the mountains, that has been happening almost every day, has left a pretty white spot that is brilliant.  It did not snow in the valley; just in the mountains. It was flurrying yesterday and the mountains were obscured by clouds.  You could almost see the snow falling up there.  This is the picture left by that falling.

It's a pretty straight shot from South Jordan to Sandy.  I just held up my phone as I was driving (slowly) to snap the beauty.  Just above the streak of clouds is a snow-covered peak, sticking its head up... (click on the photo to enlarge).

 Am I lucky, or what?  Warm autumn color blend with cool blues and whites of imminent winter. Again, in the shot below, I was searching for leaves on the grounds of the Jordan River Temple to take home to press...to keep...as a reminder of my first autumn in Utah.  As I looked up, I saw a mountain peak over the trees.

In the other direction was the temple; another majestic sight, coupled with a flag for impending Veteran's Day splendor.  The sun was exceedingly bright that day, as it is on most days.  'No lack of Vitamin D here.

I suppose one could say I am falling, truly, in love with Utah.  I am so lucky to be here.  Don't I know it?

My New Life

It's been almost a year since my life was turned upside down.
In this last year I have been closer to my Heavenly Father, I think, than at any other time in my life.

I have been constantly on my knees in prayer and supplication.

He has guided me to this, my new life.

How desperate is a woman who would leave her home, her family, her friends, her job, her reputation in the community she spent decades grooming? How miserable must she be? How much anguish can one person take within her body, mind and soul?

That was my ride each day, to new heights of ignominy, embarrassment and humiliation. I prayed, "Father, what should I do?"

Each day he sent the Holy Ghost to strengthen me and lead me, seemingly by the hand, to find even more reasons to be aghast.

I needed a kick in the head. He was giving it to me. I was naive. He helped me see the light in the situation.

Despair, misery and anguish are all emotions perpetrated by the adversary. These are all sentiments that presented themselves to me in the past year as I discovered the dirty little secrets going on within and without my household. At times, I was all-consumed with these negative feelings.

"What could I have done differently?" "How could I have changed his actions?" were questions I constantly kept asking myself. Alas, a person suffering from addictive behaviors deserves the credit himself.

Blame was something I had to take off my plate. I slowly came to this realization, with the help of the Atonement of Jesus Christ.

Too many times I cried, "Father, I can't do this anymore. Please help me?!"

Help came in the form of our Savior and Redeemer. He already went through what I was going through. He was the antidote to all the shame and bewilderment.

After a priesthood blessing, I realized my decision to get a divorce and move to be near my children, to remove myself from my home, from a community where I lived my whole life, was the right thing to do.  The blessing confirmed it--mightily! I didn't have to pray that prayer anymore.

I have learned that the reason why these incidents happened to me was because "God will not be mocked." (D&C 63:58)

I feel blameless because I have helped in revealing what was happening that was making a mockery of my God and my whole belief system.

The opposite of despair is hope. The opposite of misery is joy. The opposite of anguish is contentment.
These opposites are what faith in the Lord, Jesus Christ brought to me as I now seek my new life.

I'm away from the abuser, so I have hope in Christ that I will find my way.

I am joyful because I can now stand on my own two feet and be my own me. (see Psalm 35:9)

I am content each day as I awaken and realize that it is a new day in my new life and I make of it what I can, with the help of my Heavenly Father, who loves me.
Now...on to healing.

Where Have I Been?

Friends have been asking me why I haven't been writing in my blog. 
"Why did you stop writing?" 
"When are you going to have new entries?"
All of my joyful activities came to a halt this past year--painting, writing--because I needed to get through a trying time. 
"Writing does help," you might suggest.
Yes, it does.
I have been writing, but not joyfully, and certainly not blog-worthy.  I have a lot of private writing from this past year; writing that will probably never be read.  It was therapy for me.  Others would not like to read it, so it is not public.
To describe it as vitriolic would be accurate.
To liken it to hateful would also be on the mark.
I would also portray it as cathartic and as way to give me direction and self-guidance.  It served me well. 

All who write know that moving the pen around, or, in my case, tickling the keys, in thought or ponder, helps one come to conclusions. After all the angst is out, inspiration is found under all the dirt.  It's much like an archeological dig; dirt, dirt, dirt... dig, dig, dig... FIND! *Repeat*

Divorce is a form of grief.  I have been going through many forms of grief in this last year.  I lost a husband, a family structure, a home, a job I loved, an identity...and I moved 2,000+ miles away from where I have lived my whole life, from my extended family and many beloved friends, and from a valuable reputation in the community that I groomed over decades.
But God knows best and He has a plan for me.
I wondered why all of this happened, led by promptings of the Holy Ghost.  A friend gave me an answer...God will not be mocked.

And so, my new life begins.
And writing is still requisite respite....as I am slowly rediscovering. 
I am letting that joy back in...

I MISS TIMMY AGAIN

Tim...er, Elder Knight left for his mission early this morning.
He gave an awesome talk in sacrament meeting yesterday.
Beverly said he sounded more like a returned missionary.  I thought so, too, but...he's my son, so...

Tim's...er, Elder Knight's not much of a talker--at least to me.  I feel like I'm always interrupting his silence by asking him questions, only to be told, "I don't know," usually.  It was such a pleasure to hear about his deep inner feelings and see some emotion--good emotion--come to the surface yesterday.  I will treasure that little piece of time.  Perhaps when he returns from his mission he will be more willing to share, but it's doubtful.  His older sister, most like him, is not forthcoming with tales of her life--unless it's on Facebook or her blog.  Thus, I lurk.

I will be so happy to receive e-mails every week--EVERY WEEK!!!--from Elder Knight.  He HAS to write to me. mmmuuuaaahhhhahhh...  Perhaps he will then share his inner feelings again.  A glimpse is all I ask.  just a glimpse...just a glimpse...such a gift...

Leaving a Place . . .

Are there lightning bugs in Utah
Or sweet smelling honeysuckle vine?
Do daisies show their white happy faces?
Are there any traces of what, to me, is sublime?

Even though I love my white hydrangea tree
I hope I won’t see it bloom this year.
As I look around I am thankful for this house and gardens
But have to admit, I was never really happy here.

“This house is a gift,” I heard a voice say as plain as day.
I was admiring the newly planted strawberries ages ago.
This house is turning out to be a gift, though not what I imagined.
Dear Lord, please let it be a gift in the end, so I can go.

Children’s laughter and gaiety are the things I cherish most.
Sledding down the bank over the child-made bumps in the snow.
Running from hot tub to cold white and back to the warmth
Like affection,
Those memories will always be close.

Perhaps it’s best I am going to a place that is far removed
From everything I’ve loved (and loathed).
Utah is brown. Here it is green. Utah is dry. Here it is wet (with perspiration)
But who’s to say I can’t make it into something that’s loved (or filled with inspiration?)

I always say, “Leave a place better than you found it.”
I hope to do that. My heart and soul long for a ‘better place.’
Please, dear Lord, carry me to a home of repose
And let laughter and gaiety once more find a space
In my life...

Where friends and family are welcomed
And walls and rugs worn with use
Help me to be up to it, Lord.
With Thee, I know I can do it...happily...
no excuse.