"And charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things." ~Moroni 7:45

I have learned that, if you don't have charity, meaning the pure love of Christ, you can't achieve the celestial kingdom's highest glory. 

And except ye have acharity ye can in nowise be saved in the kingdom of God; ~Moroni 10:21


I strive to have this charity, but I know I don't come close to having the pure love of Christ in my life right now. 

I keep promising Heavenly Father, "Some day...I promise...I will forgive..."  ...but right now...I just have to 'be.'  I have to heal.  I have to find my own way; take it at my own pace.

Moroni echoed what was spoken by Paul in the New Testament.  "Charity Never Faileth." 
I certainly do believe all things and hope all things right now.  I believe I have borne a lot of 'things,' especially in this past year, but in many years past as well.  I feel I have endured a LOT of things. I do rejoice in the truth. 
I have to admit, I do 'thinketh evil' pretty regularly.  My friends, who have gone through what I am going through, all say I have to give myself time--PLENTY of time--before I will be able to live again fully and heal and be whole.  I am willing to put in the time.  I long for healing.  But every once in awhile (or sometimes a great lot) I am taken back a few steps and stumble and fall down.  My friends say it can't be helped.  This will happen.  So I will take them at their word.

And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.
~1Corinthians 13:2


H.F. knows my heart.  I hope He sees some good inside there.