And, so there is.
But first, the blessings:
- My Heavenly Father loves me and knows who I am. He knows my angst and my happiness. He has helped me through this last year. I can and will not ever deny that. So many times I saw one set of footprints. So many times He was the only One I could rely on.
- The Atonement of our Savior took up the slack when I couldn’t go on. I knew I would have to rely on Him to fill the measure of what was needed. I hope I will always live my life worthy of His great sacrifice.
- I am thankful for the Meyersons. When Bonnie found out I wanted to move to Utah but I didn't know how I was going to do it, she didn't hesitate. She said right out, "You'll stay with us." What a blessing that has been! I have my own room and bath and a big closet. The Meyersons have given me so much and ask nothing in return. I needed a place to feel safe and they freely gave it to me.
- I'm near my kids--at least two of them, but I have seen Jewely three times since I've been here. Idaho might not seem so far away, but it's a LOOOOONG four-hour drive to Rexburg. It actually takes me five hours because I have to stop every hour or so to stretch my legs. But, I digress... I have seen Sandy and Zannah, and now Nick, many, many times. Sometimes once a week, sometimes more. The Meyersons are gracious and invite them to dinners and they allow me to cook dinners and invite them over, usually on Sundays.
Sandy/Alex holding Jodi's Daisy, and me
- My youngest child, Elder Tim Knight, is serving a mission. I have been told that most of the blessings I am receiving are because of his missionary service. It's so true.
- I have had a chance to create some new traditions with my kids, like going to see the Christmas lights at Temple Square, going to see “The Forgotten Carols,” and getting tickets for the Mormon Tabernacle Choir Christmas Concert, this year with David Archuleta and Michael York. I look forward to perpetrating them in the years to come. I hope we can get tickets again next year. They are distributed by lottery.
- Though Facebook was the impetus that led to the dissolution of my marriage, I recognize that it is also had for good. Without Facebook I would not be able to keep in touch so intimately with all my friends that remained behind, my family and the friends I have here. Email is also a miracle. I can, at any time, correspond with anyone anywhere. Add Skype and you have a trifecta of communication that wasn't available a decade ago.
- I found a good job. It's the same kind of work I did before, but in a different setting. God is good. Though I have a lot to learn, I am willing. It might not be in a place I would have chosen, but I know HE knows what is good for me. I have many benefits from working there, and the people are great. I hope to make some wonderful friends in the people that work there. I will try to decipher the new language and do the best job I can.
- I am healthy. For the first time in a long time...I feel better than ever.
- I am happy. Burdens were lifted that were on my shoulders for many years. I now have a chance to pursue my dreams. I can have dreams! I can do anything I want to do. I hope to serve God and listen to the promptings of the Holy Ghost in all things. I acknowledge He is the source of my happiness. I feel loved and protected.
- Prayer is the communication I have with God. Reading the scriptures and receiving Priesthood blessings give me the answers to my prayers--His communication back at me. He has not forsaken me.
- I have a choice of three temples to attend within a 15-minute radius. Add 20 minutes and I've got 4. Add a half hour and there are more than a half dozen. I love Utah for that reason (among many).
- I have so many friends!!!! I would not be where I am today without their constant care and companionship. This last year would have done me in, but my friends kept me going. They gave me hope. They buoyed me up. My friends rallied around me and constantly called me to see how I was doing. They still do! They helped me leave and gave me a place to stay. I had many more offers than I took up. I really felt so loved.
My peeps at Clare Bridge of Dublin, minus Lynn Wirth. They gave me a farewell party on August 10th, my last day. I miss them... and I saw Lynn later
- My family!!!!!! My sister, Kathy, sent me an uplifting text every morning (still does!), which I read ravenously. My other brothers and sister also told me they were there for me, whatever I might need. I was so touched by their love. I’ve never seen my mom act so she-bear! Though I had to temper her anger and persuade her to NOT come to Pennsylvania to be with me, I was so grateful for the offer. Before I left, Andrew gave me a big hug and dropped a tear or two and said he wasn’t happy about losing another sister to a faraway place. Warren called and left a message on my voicemail and told me he loved me (which I have saved and won’t delete). John called to make sure I was OK and offer financial help, as did Chrissy. She sent me many texts to tell me how much she loves me (which I keep and will not delete). Beth called and offered the expertise of her bosses at the law firm. She wanted to make sure I was on the right path and that I was looking out for my own interests and wasn’t caving.
My sister, Kathy, sends me uplifting texts every morning. I look forward to them. One time it served as my alarm clock and I wasn't late for work!!!! Yikes! Keep it up, Kath!
Chrissy, my baby sister, and me at my family farewell party
- A chance to start over.
I know I haven't even scratched the surface of my blessings. I know there will be many more to come.
Please, Lord, lead me down the right path during this next phase, as I know Thou will. Thou was with me, leading and guiding me, and sometimes giving me a good kick in the head to get going. Thou told me to have courage. Thou persuaded me that I was making the right decisions. Thou let me know, under no uncertain terms, I was doing the right thing—getting a divorce and moving to Utah. For that, I am grateful. I look to Thee in all things. I love Thee, Lord. Please bless all those who had a hand in my life this past year. Please bless them abundantly!!!!